There was this beautiful sunny day, I said hi to my friend and she deflected my enthusiastic greeting with an all-time low “hello”, then I became invisible to her, all day. The monosyllabic responses and muteness discouraged me and eventually caused pain within… it spanned into days and weeks…I searched for the reason but I couldn’t find and she would excitedly talk to everyone around except me.
Silent Treatment is a form of emotional abuse and a Bullying tactic. It’s simply a Refusal to communicate verbally with someone who desires to talk with you. Silent treatment is a passive aggressive form of abuse. It’s a Control mechanism and a form of manipulation.
They shut down and ignore you, like you don’t exist, like you are not present. It’s a recognized form of abusive.
They don’t like it when you flip the script. They don’t like what you dish out to them.
A lot of us are really aware of this and the effects it has on others, we have this behavior so ingrained in us and some of us know the effect.
The person using it, most likely is simply trying to control you. Abusers punish their victims by silence. The person initiating it usually has narcissistic tendencies.
For a few, it could be excused to the fact that they are unable to verbally express their displeasure at the point of provocation and they may rather choose the withdrawal method which is akin to silent treatment to cope with their pain. But on learning about the pain it has on others, some of us may as well think of learning how to initiate the first conversation after we are hurt. We should try. You cannot resolve an issue if you are just silent and not communicating.
Some psychologist came up with causes like parental neglect and over indulgence during their formative ages and further explained how these can reinforce these narcissistic tendencies in people.
Self-absorbed people dish out a lot of silent treatment.
How it affects the Receiver.
It’s a way of wreaking wounds without hitting somebody. It affects the receiver the same way, if they are being hit.
This makes the person on the receiving end of the silent treatment to have a feeling of ineptitude and worthlessness.
It encourages isolation and unhealthy self-reflection.
It reminds the target of past failures and sometimes wrongly assigned faults.
It’s mostly acted out to get a reaction from the target and a sense of control.
It’s designed to confuse you especially when you share a nonconforming view and then they hit the reset button with it, just for you to align with their beliefs and their views.
There are 9 Effective ways of dealing with Silent Treatment.
The good news is that; you teach people how to treat you. SILENT TREATMENT is a toxic behavior; don’t let anybody pull you into their toxic world. You are better than that, you are not weak, and you are not a pushover.
Nobody should live in pain and torment; I wrote this for the receiver’s awareness as well as for the ones who dish out silent treatment from time to time. Since dealing with this may as well help us live without pain and manipulation.
- Information is power, feel empowered that you now know, it’s not your doing, you did nothing wrong. It’s just who they are. Particularly if you can’t find any issue and they don’t want to speak about it.
- You need to know what they want if they suddenly go silent by cutting you off verbally and emotionally, that’s the why. It’s always for something, most times for flimsy reasons.
- Your fear of being alone…yes… If you are known to have this fear, they will capitalize on it; learn to enjoy being alone most times. Enjoy your “you” time…And remember Thoughtful and emphatic people are attracted to Narcissistic people.
- Positively refuse to react, go about your life and ignore their behavior, no matter how pissed off he or she is. Ignore them. Being ignored –giving them no supply, it’s frightening to self-absorbed folks.
- Do not allow them get what they want from this Manipulative behavior. Most times they want to have power over another, refuse to play the game.
- You may not be allowed to voice your opinions without a consequence if you are the Receiver. Voice it anyway, know at the back of your mind that they may raise their voice and threaten leaving.
- Don’t feel depleted, don’t tolerate it.
- Don’t try to make them mad, they are expecting you to react, negatively or positively, just let it be. Don’t take to social media.
- Sit them down if they are not ready to, cutting them off may seem crass, okay let’s say… see a counselor, but don’t enable this behavior.
How did you cope with this silent treatment in the past, how are you dealing with it, please you’re your comments under so we learn.