The radio stations in Lagos dusted up Aretha Franklin’s songs yesterday and the traffic home was back to back so we were stuck with the Queen of soul’s voice .R.E.S.P.E.C.T stuck and I stretched out of my bed this morning heading for my toothbrush ,the song woke up too…humming to the office, humming while typing. I combed her Wikipedia page and concluded that she was truly a fighter and she truly lived her life. So it’s normal for me to write on Respect while waiting for my delayed flight. Goodnight Aretha Franklin.

Before we start learning about things you may be doing wrong to attract the opposite of Respect from folks. I will like you to know this. For some people, no matter who you are or what you have attained or achieved, you are just a piece of garbage and when you spend your time and money trying to earn respect from them, it may be likened to watering dead plants. Change your motive for being here.

I will drop this here, Just respect you by giving them some respect and walk away. Tough huh ? Let’s go further.
Have you ever wanted a situation where you needed someone to give you just a little bit of respect ,yes! just a tiny fraction and you just couldn’t get it? Instead you got served with a big plate of Disrespect .Did you replay all your actions or reactions and probably said “I blame myself”? This can make you think up reasons why you do the things you do or buy the things you buy .If you get all the fine and commendable stuff ,titles,certificates …with the hope that these things will earn you some good Respect from others.In some cases ,Yes but definitely not lasting,with the absence of these things..what happens? You may need to check your motive again.Start by loving YOU enough to respect YOU .
Respect is said to be the highest form of love.Selfcheck🤔…I hope you’re not getting things just so you will be respected? Respect yourself oo😂.

Do you think you need some respect and dignity? Do you give respect to others? Ehen! Sometimes it’s okay to ask for it. And sometimes you may look at someone and say “Hell no!, this guy deserves no respect” and then there is another who is disrespected no matter how many points he must have scored in earning a good dose of Respect.

All that you should be giving out should be positive vibes.
In this part of the world Respect is such a big deal,which is great in a lot of ways though it’s fading out as we embrace new cultures daily. It can be shown in so many ways like putting a prefix in front of an elder’s name, putting an “Auntie” or “ Uncle” in front of some strangers’ names . Kneeling to greet, curtseying, and lying flat on your tummy at the sight of the respected person .Then in Tiv land,we don’t display our respect to much.I remember being young,we went back to our village to visit and I saw this elder ,I said “Good afternoon Baba” and he replied “Say my name,little girl,Call me by my name so I can tell if you know your relatives back home!” His name was “Ishu” by the way,it means “Fish”.Calling an elderly person by name is a taboo in other climes but for the Tiv,Respect is deep down and sonetimes showing up as “Blind loyalty” .Diverse culture abi?

Many years ago,I had a good friend who made sure she demanded for some Respect, daily .She would remind me about our five year age difference. It was tough relating with her .I couldn’t tell when the delicate lines will be crossed so eventually ,I couldn’t stay as her bestie anymore. We are still friends though .

Do you go around demanding for respect wherever you go? Check!
Perhaps you are the problem; it could be your ability to say “No,it’s enough”. Change so you can get the mirror reflection you are expecting from people. You may not be able to fix people’s reactions all the time but you can fix yourself,gradually work on it and watch them treat you better.

Sometimes boundaries and limits are healthy so as to avoid being walked on ,all over while you complain. Don’t allow it; lift your tolerance level a little bit.☺
You don’t talk down on someone and expect them to respect you. Whatever you want more, give out more of it. Don’t worry too much if people respect you or not, just respect yourself!

Though many people associate Achievement with Respect it’s always okay to remember that some don’t have shoes but respecting them comes easy and some have enough wealth, Houses and cars but they make respecting them so difficult .The motive behind their Achievements spells “Insecure” and it’s always obvious in every word and act of theirs.

Most times, The people who want respect don’t get it and the people who don’t care about it, get it… sounds unfair right? Get over it. You may think of making it easy for others to respect you.

Respect has other names like “Reciprocal” and “Two-way street.

• An Attitude adjustment is what we need,this is “one day at a time”process.
• Speak up for yourself in explaining your true feelings not just because others hold a certain view. Even if this means rocking the boat. Simply be an independent Thinker.
• Censor your language, Stay clear of profanity.simply clean up your language. Get your point out without sprinkling curses all over.
• Dress the part .just have some Style,you know, good personal hygiene and grooming.With sagging pants hanging down or skimpy stuff. You may be sending a message out there that you don’t have self-worth.
• Be truthful about your views.
• In all situations, especially in ugly ones. Observe and think before you react.Be more of a proactive person, this can be learned.
• Respect others and you will be respected, You need to respect and understand where others are coming from.
• Don’t talk behind people’s back, you shouldn’t be named along with every backstabbing gossip in town. Quickly walk away when a gossip is brewing.
• Try to do your best at everything. This will help you to Improve productivity and excellence in all aspects of your life. Don’t tolerate mediocrity.
• Keep to your words.Be a Man or woman of your word.

Always remember that Respect is something you earn and you don’t force it out of people.
Just respect you and don’t need it from people
How feasible? it’s a healthy emotion but don’t get over board, like a respect starved person roaming around and tearing people apart.
Do Like this…😎
Maintain a sense of dignity even if people are disrespectful.
Compliment the Achievements of others.
Be punctual ,enough of “sorry I am late. Just loose the excuses already.
Stay sincere in all your dealings.
Again, Do what you said you will do.
Use sarcasm sparingly unless you are a humorist or comedian😂. This will help a bit.
Be polite and helpful …How do you treat people who have nothing to offer? Check! Everyone has something to offer…I think.
Finally, Do you think you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect? Do you treat people with enough dignity and respect?
It’s obvious that we all want it ,that’s the reality.
When you don’t feel like you are respected in a situation, remember this; You have a choice. It’s just another opportunity where you say “ I am going to be respectful despite… or I am going to treat this person disrespectfully “.Our choices create our reputation.
From social media street, I’ve learned that most disrespectful comments stem from Religion and Politics…so we may need to learn how to communicate with people who have different religions and political affiliations from us. That’s the reality.
Filters are necessary I learned …that’s rethinking what we already believe. If we can only pull pass what we believe and think . We may be more respectful and less judgmental.
Frank Barron left me in thoughts with this quote… “Never take a person’s dignity, it means everything to them and nothing to you”.


Cheers ,