I once confided in my brother about my Epic heartbreak and he listened attentively, to every bit of it, and with a serious face, he suggested “This will make a very beautiful story, you should write it down. “I got up disappointedly and walked away from him. I thought “why couldn’t he just see my pain? Why couldn’t he just tell me something soothing?”
A broken heart often results from a loved one’s rejection or exit; and there is a huge tendency to think they must have broken up with us because we are not good enough.
It comes with Pain and fear .You may think you lost the person who is just right for you and may be you may get him back if you try harder. You may even be addicted to the idea of being with that person and Heartbreak may feel just like taking away the drug for your addiction.
The broken-hearted may even conclude that;” If they think that I am not worthy of love, I must not be worthy of love”.
When you are rejected you may think something must be wrong with you.
We tend to believe their negative feelings about us.
You need to remember that;
Somebody’s negative feeling about you isn’t always true.
Don’t internalize the undesirable feelings.
Just because a square doesn’t fit in a round hole doesn’t mean that it’s not good enough. That’s just one person’s definition of perfect. We don’t just fit their definition of “impeccable”. People have diverse concepts of what is good and not good. Their opinion shouldn’t define your self-acceptance.
Distraction alone is not enough, you may dive into eating and drinking, gaming, going out and spending time with friends, but if these ideas don’t represent growth, you may find your thoughts going back to the same sad place after these activities.
Progress works better; this may just be the right time to work on those important things that will give you a sense of achievement. It’s those major goals that make your yearly “To do list “; Focus on important things that will give you a sense of progress. Taking a Holiday, escapism may work for some time but you will get there again. These things don’t necessary give you that feeling of progress. Focus on what will give you a sense of satisfaction and a Sense of purpose. Start small, and channel that energy to what fulfils your life goals. I am so tempted to call it “personal legend”. What do you expect from someone who just finished reading the book “Alchemist”?
At the end of the day, the story would have been written instead of dwelling on the pain of being neglected.
Go get that degree, that certification, start that business, that training, get that size, achieve your goals .
It’s tough but doable, get up and tick your list of goals but remember this CS Lewis’ quote ;it worked wonders. So you don’t close up your heart after a heartbreak. Love you and open up for the best ,which is yet to home. ☺ . CS Lewis said “ To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is hell.”
Stay sweet, stay loveable.The best is yet to come.
Cheers,
Mimes.