Before we go further, let’s know this …Nobody wants someone with an agenda, relating with them just to use them, people want just people with similar values coming together to offer or to add value. So as much as possible let things be organic. Always be a good person, add value and be intentional about it.
There was a Sunday, many years ago. My friend came home from church asking me what I had to offer her in our friendship. She informed me that, they were asked in church to find out what their friends are bringing to the table of their friendship. I didn’t like the sound of it but it’s like that’s the reality that’s silently kept in hush tones. The friendship withered with time though, I guess I didn’t add anything or I became overly cautious, I thought I needed total unconditional love from friends.
With time, I realized that a lot of friendship or acquaintances may be dying away because there is no nourishment to the blossoming relationship or it’s simply one sided .I once asked a much younger friend of mine what he is gaining from his childhood friend as he seemed stagnant in everything while the friend is climbing higher. He replied without a second thought “He gives me clothes and food when I am in need”. I continued “So what do you offer in return to this friendship table?” and then he stares into the air with no answer… You see, some people get really pissed off when their friends leave them behind, when they grow out of the familiar circles and aspire for greater things, they develop wings and fly solo and the appear selfish to the left -behind friend. I noticed a trend; I am beginning to see circles of friends soaring together with similar ideologies. It’s more of symbiosis and not parasitism.
Do you have any skillset, values, life ropes, staircases ideas or financial resources to offer each other or collectively as a group?
That Sunday, I wasn’t happy at my friend’s question but now I know I should be adding value to people I bump into in this life and my social circles should benefit from my participation and even free work. I stood there staring at her, “you are a good and loyal friend” she said, though she wasn’t so satisfied with that, she never mentioned it… and she concluded “may be you are here to tell me the bitter truth “.
We may wish for that ideal person in our social circle who totally relates with you for you, these sets of people are rare, you hardly hear or see a Harry and Meghan Story. A lot of factors play into our networks.
There is a need to build a network with your social circle because Success is almost impossible without people involved.
- In your niche, you need to know who the stars are –who are the people leading? Comment or contribute on their posts, share their posts. You can jump in a respectful way and contribute and be part of the community, engaging with this tribe leaders will help, their influence is a Plus.
- Go online to the Top sites in your niche-photography, fashion, make up industry.
- Meeting people e.g. conferences, meet ups, events. Getting off the internet and meeting people in the real world is essential. Reach out to add value, not expecting anything in return.
- Who are your peers that are doing similar things? Find out and build relationships, collaborate, Invest in these relationships and build your brand in the process.
- Work for free if possible; you can build influence in no time this way.
- Reach out to add value, not expecting anything in return.
- You can also take time to participate or volunteer in community activities.
- Offer free work to a network you really want to be part of.
- Be proactive and not reactive .
Don’t give up too early after meeting someone influential and it doesn’t turn out to be a huge deal .Keep at it, don’t push it too hard, and let it be as organic as possible.
I wish you all the best as we thrive.
Thanks for reading this far.