Will they like me? Will I be accepted? These are relatable questions some people ask in their inner rooms or behind stages. Though I find it hard to see people agreeing to this inner quest, it’s a place of vulnerability and this is not a comfortable position for many. They rather give out the vibes that show that they don’t need acceptance or validation from anyone. I agree .this is for those who keep asking and can agree that there is an inner want like that.
I watched this tribute given to Whitney Houston and I was taken aback knowing that she once asked this question before taking the stage, after all the cheering and tabloids, she still wanted to be good enough for people.
I really do respect those who think they don’t need to be accepted by any other human, but this is for those who ask these questions sometimes. In front of our mirrors, when we have the courage to stand there, we stare at ourselves, that’s the closest image to who we truly are. The fact is that we haven’t seen our true selves before.
From the stories gathered so far, it seems, these questions never stop, do they? Despite our achievements in life, we constantly feel inadequate together with the desire for acceptance. There is this compulsive need to be enough to the people you really hold their view or opinion as important and when they don’t see you that way, you conclude you are not that good enough. Am I here to type and reassure you just as countless quotes do? They say “You are totally enough”. No I am here to say that, that feeling is totally normal and if it’s not normal, who defines “Normal” by the way.
What is enough? Or how enough is enough?
What are you after in this life?
What are your desires?
What are your thoughts mostly on?
What are your future plans? Do you say “I am going to save lives even if”
Most people are as ignorant as you think you are or even more, most are uncertain too and they appear confident to you, so you may think they have it all together but it’s the same thing inside. A guy once said” life is packaging” but I don’t think so …someone once said Uncertainty is a gift from God so we don’t get bored knowing everything. I digress…
Most people feel the same inadequacy, some think they are not good enough, beautiful enough, healthy enough, intelligent enough, and lucky or favored enough, and you name it.
Whatever cards are offered to you by life, please, arrange the available options and use it for good. If life gives you a few, search for more and give impact.
Who defines what enough should be like?
Social media has reinforced this feeling of inadequacy and the touched pictures with the Apps have left a lot of people comparing their real life warts, wrinkles and pimples to beautifully photo-shopped pictures, the wounds can be neatly cleaned up my these Apps and the sufferings and pains can’t always show in family pictures. ‘good enough’ seems like a mirage. We will most reach a point of satisfaction where we are ready to be us even if we are imperfect in our ways or looks. We are just us.
I don’t think of myself as enough sometimes but I am good enough to keep doing what I am here to do. I couldn’t even boldly post and share because I felt I was not good enough with writing, but I eventually did, good for me! Fail forward, you don’t need a PhD attached to whatever skill you do to be okay with yourself, just as no woman can make a man feel man enough if he doesn’t feel man enough.
Get at it, do whatever is good to you and your community.
Grow your seeds, you must grow, we grow when we have something of value to give.
Yes, you are good enough and you will be good enough. Go and live to the fullest.
For me, The solution that soothes this inner inadequacy is knowing the love of our father, our God, this type of love is not even logical; it’s stupid, despite our mess up; Our father says you are good enough to die for… We are dust and he knows our frame. Please don’t forget that God loves you, no matter the circumstance you are in .He does love you.
Maya Angelou once said ‘A bird doesn’t sing because people are listening, it sings because it has a song’.
Say it like you mean it “I am good enough”.